


Guilt, Fault and Blame

by Charcoalll



Series: Teaching a caged bird to fly [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Angst, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mostly Gen, Not Beta Read, Sexual Content, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 05:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30101100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charcoalll/pseuds/Charcoalll
Summary: Whatever that night at the roof meant, it changed Robin's life rather quickly. On the edge of a life she never thought she could have, she has to make some thought decisions.What is Andrew's true intentions?What does he want with her?And is Steven still in controll of her from his prison cell halfway cross country?Or; Robin begins driving with the monsters from practice and suddenly everything changes.
Relationships: Neil Josten & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Nicky Hemmick & Aaron Minyard, Robin Cross & Andrew Minyard, Robin Cross & Neil Josten
Series: Teaching a caged bird to fly [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205765
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Guilt, Fault and Blame

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part of my ongoing series about Robin Cross and the Monsters! Hope you like it and the next part will be on the long awaited locker room scene so that I'm excited for! 
> 
> Please leave a comment to tell me what you think!

Whatever that night on the roof had proved to Andrew, it sure took effect immediately. 

Robin was exhausted, as she dragged herself for her morning routine, and even that had to be cut short. Apparently almost dying and then not sleeping after an already emotionally exhausting day, was not the best combination. 

Eventually, she found herself at court, morning practice unavoidable, running through drills with the enthusiasm of a wet cloth. But the first surprise came already when she entered the locker room. Neil and Andrew were sitting in their normal spot, and none of them looked up at her when she entered. 

However, what made Robin stop and shamelessly stare was the small, already fading bruise running along Andrew’s cheekbone. She didn’t think she’d managed to leave a mark, and while she knows that physical assault is not something to be proud of, she couldn’t help feeling a bit of pride seep into her bones. 

She had done that, she could do that. 

However that was quickly replaced by a solid spook when Andrew turned around and met her eyes. She jumped, then scrambled her way to her locker in a desperate attempt to hide her embarrassment. 

The second surprise came when the game began. 

On a normal day, Robin was a mediocre player at best, today she was even worse. Neil sent a series of puzzling looks between her and Andrew, but eventually settled on the midget that had set up camp on the bench. Andrew just starred back eventually giving a bored nod, making Neil’s lips twist upwards in a small smile. 

Neil looked back at her, and there was something akin to a warm triumph to find in his blue eyes. Had her eyes looked like that yesterday? The possibility filled her with a bit more energy, yet not nearly enough for her to perform satisfactory, and eventually Wymack did blow his whistle. 

“Cross, Minyard” he commandeered, bringing the whistle back to his mouth. Robin slumped dejected, but began to make her way towards the benches, but stopped dead in her tracks. 

Andrew didn’t move an inch. He had stretched his legs out in front of him, leaned back against the rink wall. He didn’t look like he was going anywhere near the goal, actually he didn’t look like he was about to move an inch from his spot on the bench. 

Robin, took another step in his direction, then looked questioningly over at Wymack who looked like he might be about to pop a vein. 

“Minyard, goal” Wymack tried again. He must have known that it was a lost cause, Andrew didn’t even glance his way as the older man yelled his name yet again “Minyard”. 

“You already have a goalie, use that” he answered back, clearly bored with where the conversation was going. If you could call it that at all, conversing with Andrew wasn’t easy on a good day, and this apparently wasn’t a good day “Coach” he added the title in mock respect.

Robin would like to say that Andrew did it for her, to give her a chance to actually play, but she also knew better. Somewhere in the hard set of his jaw, the way his eyes were squinting betheath furrowed brows, told her that her playing had little to nothing to do with his unwillingness to do so. 

Wymack keeps staring at the goalie, trying to judge the unpredictable situation, until he eventually finds what he’s looking for. He pinches his nose bridge but just nods to himself, then he turns back to the field, and Robin. 

“Get back in goal Cross, let’s get this over with” then he blew the whistle as Robin ran back into the goal and took her stance. She felt Andrew’s eyes fall on her, something she had learned the feeling of over the past weeks spent at Palmetto. However, for the first time since she arrived, it didn’t feel like it was burning holes through her skull. 

Actually, it ignited something in her, a desire she hadn’t felt before. She wanted to be good, she wanted to show him that she could be good at this, that he didn’t make a mistake, that she could fight and win. 

No matter the fire Andrew lit under her feet by almost killing her yesterday, she didn’t magically get better. She only blocked four out of sixteen shots taken at goal, and even then she could tell that Nicky was going easy on her. 

The difference between her lousynes before, and her current lousynes, was that she didn’t give up. By the time practice was over, she had participated more than ever before, mostly because she hadn’t been benched within the first hour. 

Surprisingly, practice was a peaceful affair in comparison to the day before. No bones were broken and no fights were instigated, since both Jack and Sheena kept to their lane and Neil seemed in a significantly calmer mood than he had been in yesterday. There was also no Andrew on the pitch to go after everyone and everything that breathed at him wrong, so that might also have something to do with it. 

By the time the foxes were finally let go for the day, she was about ready to kneel over, sweaty and sticky and exhausted beyond belief. She just wanted to shower and then magically appear in her dorm room, the walk seeming almost impossible to handle after almost two days with no sleep or rest. 

She finished up, got dressed and stuffed the rest of her gear into the locker. If Neil saw how she shoved it into the back of the obnoxiously orange locker, he would have chewed her out from here and into the next century. But he didn’t, so it was an issue she could deal with tomorrow. 

Preferably after she had slept for at least a solid 12 hours. 

Her duffle felt several pounds heavier than it had yesterday when she slung it over her shoulder, and for a moment she considered just going to sleep on one of the locker room couches. However she quickly decided against it, Sheena would never let her live it down if the other girl found her there, and so, she stepped out onto the pavement, shielding her eyes from the darkening sun with the back of her hand. 

Enter the third and final surprise. 

“There you are, we ain't got all day” Neil was sitting in the driver's seat of the maserati, elbow rested on the edge of the open window, looking expectantly at her. 

Andrew was in the passenger seat, which in itself was unusual, but he had been acting strange all practice anyways. She rarely saw any of the upperclassmen during the day, and she was no way near a Andrew professional, but she also wasn’t blind. 

She didn’t make a move for the car, unsure of exactly what Neil meant with having ‘waited for her’. However, when an overly enthusiastic Nicky opened the door to the backseat, smiling out at her, she connected the dots. 

“Get in, unless you’d rather walk back to the tower” he smiled, waving her closer. Baffled, she obeyed, her tired legs begging for mercy and she piled into the seat behind Neil in the driver's seat. 

Aaron was sitting on the other side of Nicky, nose buried in his phone, seemingly not registering her presence at all. Andrew didn’t look at her, instead he copied his brother and completely ignored her. She couldn’t see his face from where she was sitting, but she couldn’t imagine it being anything but bored. 

Nicky began talking her ear off the second she got situated in the car, and she appreciated him filling silence that would no doubt have been rather awkward. He mostly bombarded her with questions that she didn’t get the time to answer before he had already moved on to the next one, and before long it apparently got too much on Andrew’s nerves. 

He turned up the radio loud enough for any kind of conversation became impossible. Nicky looked like he might protest for a second, but one look at where Andrew had slumped back in his seat was apparently enough to make him choose life. 

Instead he just shot her another sweet Nicky smile, then resigned them to the rest of the trip with the uncomfortable loud music. Robin couldn’t find it in herself to care, she was too tired to let it bother her. Her eyes were getting heavier and heavier the longer she sat in the seat, and she was just about to lose her battle when they pulled up into the fox tower parking lot. 

“Thanks for the ride” she smiled tiredly at Neil as they got out of the car, and he returned the gesture with a small nod, leaned up against the car and waited for the rest to file out. 

Nicky came out behind her, and she saw Aaron leave from the other side, phone still taking the majority of his attention as he quickly and absentmindedly raised a hand in goodbye. Andrew also left in a hurry it would seem, smacking the car door harder than needed, turning only to catch the keys Neil threw him over the hood of the car. 

The lights blinked once, twice and then the car beeped indicating that it was now locked. She also began the small distance to the door, which seemed almost endless in her state of exhaustion. Neil however, had other plans. 

“Robin, wait a second” she stopped and turned around, not in the mood, but also without the energy to reject him. 

He looked at her curiously in silence for a moment, then he pushed himself off the car and walked up to her “Let me help you with that” and then he took her duffle bag from her. 

As they walked, he began talking again, this time gaining a bit more attention with the subject. 

“I don’t know what happened on the roof yesterday” he began when they reached the first flight of stairs “But you did the right thing it would seem. You’ve intrigued him, if you hadn't already” 

“I don’t know what that means” she admitted, because she truly didn’t understand what it meant to intrigue Andrew or if that was a good thing at all. 

Neil huffed a laugh “Most don’t, hell I don’t have a clue, but you did it nonetheless… Just like me and Kevin did” which threw her off. She had never thought to be grouped with Kevin Day, nor Neil in anything. Especially not the shared interest of someone as unpredictable as Andrew. 

“Anyways, we’re going to Columbia this friday. He told me to invite you out with us” he continued “With me, Andrew, Nicky and Aaron, maybe Katelyn if Andrew is feeling generous” that last part didn’t sound like Neil counted on it, but it was worth mentioning their potential fifth participant. Robin shifted uncomfortably. 

“To do what exactly?” she had briefly heard of the Columbia escapades, through a conversation between Abby and Neil once, by accident, but it didn’t sound like it was a peaceful affair when the monsters went clubbing. Not that she would know violent from peaceful clubbing, she had never been, but just the thought made her insides churn. 

People got taken from clubs all the time, drugged, raped, all sorts of terrible things happened to girls who went clubbing. 

Then again, she had never been clubbing with the monsters, and obviously Neil had survived his first Eden’s trip, so maybe… No, definitely not, not happening. 

“Thanks for the invite, really, but I-” Neil held a hand up to stop her and she obeyed. 

“Don’t say no yet” he told her, face blank “Think it over, come back with an answer Thursday so we know. Andrew doesn’t like surprises.”

They stopped at her dorm door, and he dropped off her duffle. She gave him a smile and a quick thank you before going to close the door, however Neil put his foot in the way and stopped her. 

“Robin, one last thing?” she wanted to go to bed more than anything, even talk to Neil, but she nodded anyways “Why do you not wanna go to Eden’s? Is it for you or because of him” Robin didn’t need to ask him to figure out who ‘him’ was. She shuddered, and didn’t answer as she closed the door, this time more forceful as she felt a wave of panic wash over her. He didn’t stop her. 

The fact that Neil knew about Steven shouldn’t have come as a surprise, anyone with an internet connection and access to google could find out all they wanted to know about her less than ideal childhood without much issue. That didn’t make it any less scary when someone mentioned it. 

Normal people had a certain amount of tact when it came to sensitive topics like that, even her parents had not talked to her about it without her initiating the conversation first (which she never did). It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk about Steven, it was more that she couldn’t. Not with the intense wave of shame that threatened to swallow her whole when she thought of him. 

_Blonde pigtails, overalls, blue eyes… nothing like Robin, he was ready to move on._

She blinked, willing the tears away as she changed out of the hoodie and into her sleepwear. She hadn’t had dinner, but Neil’s parting words were enough for her to lose her appetite soundly. 

Once again she was reminded that the Foxes were not normal, that they were rough and rowdy and rude, and somehow that made her feel terrible and elated at the same time. 

She had to be so careful with her parents, people around her handled her like a glass figurine that had been cracked once before. Like the simplest of startles could shatter her unrecognisable. They often forgot she had moved past the five year old taken from a park, that she was an adult. 

But it was also daunting, this new level of bold and harsh honesty hurt sometimes. Especially when people had so free access to all her failings. 

She threw the hoodie in the wash pile by her bed, messy her mother would have said with a teasing smile, and picked up her phone, flipping the lid open. 

The number was the first that popped up, her dad, and she pressed the call button. Her dad picked up on the third ring. 

“Hey darling! How are you, it’s been ages!” her father sounded tired but thrilled to hear her voice, and she smiled weakly. It hadn’t been ages, she had called him two days ago, but that was a long break for the two of them. 

“I’m fine, long day” she answered honestly, laying down on her back in the soft bed “How are you and mom?” and then she forced herself to relax as she listened to her father ramble on about her mom and house, and the dog and the church. It was nice, listening to the drone of his voice, the steady intake of breath between sentences, it calmed her to a point where her heavy eyelids were almost impossible to fight off any longer. 

When she hung up a few minutes later, it was like a weight had lifted from her shoulders, she could breathe a little easier. She closed her eyes, let sleep take over her as her body had begged for the whole day and slipped off to her dreams. 

As she hung there, on the edge between the living world and sleep’s warm embrace, she couldn't help thinking of her and Andrew and the roof, Neil’s words echoing through her head. 

“Is it for you, or because of him?” 

-

“I’ll go” Andrew was back to normal the next day at morning practice, eyes bored and without that edge that she had spotted the day before. He didn’t react at all to her proclamation, opting instead to stare her down like only Andrew could. 

It had taken all her willpower to actually walk to the group on the couch in the locker room, and she was still shaking slightly as she proclaimed her decision. 

“Amazing!” Nicky was a bit more excited it would seem, smiling broadly at her and Neil, who also seemed satisfied with her answer “It’s been ages since we’ve had anyone new with us to Columbia, and it’s been weird ever since Kevin graduated, do you dance? Doesn’t matter we’ll dance” overwhelmed she opted for smiling and nodding instead of engaging in Nicky’s flow of words and questions. 

She didn’t know what half of it meant anyways, she had never been clubbing, and this was a nerve wracking first time to do it. 

Practice was boring and regular, but much to her surprise Andrew pulled the same stunt as yesterday. 

“Andrew, switch with Cross” Wymack ordered, clearly also having seen the sharp look from yesterday gone from the younger's face. If he thought that would change Andrew’s willingness to play, he was apparently wrong. 

“You have a goalie, use her” he answered, same as last time, and Robin could see Wymack fuming as Andrew crossed his arms in defyance. The staring contest held for a solid minute this time, and eventually Wymack had to back down, there was no fighting Andrew apparently. 

She saw Neil shoot an annoyed look in Andrew’s direction, but Andrew had already diverted his attention to his phone, not even granting the red head a single look. It would be one of those days. 

She hoped that the tense air between the two wouldn’t last through friday night, that they would let it stay at court like they could sometimes. Neil didn’t seem annoyed enough to want a shootout, and Andrew didn’t seem engaged enough to make it an issue. 

Robin had to fight the feeling she got in her chest, the same feeling she got when her parents fought. Silly she thought to herself, getting ready at goal as Neil took position and the small exercise began. 

Wymack shouted orders, Neil supplemented, and the threat from yesterday was surprisingly still enough to keep Sheena and Jack in their lane. Maybe Neil had talked to them later? Unlikely, however their cooperation was a pleasant surprise on court. 

Jack still had his nasty habit of playing with no-one but himself. Stealing the ball out of obvious paths, going for goal when he should have passed or checked, and every other minute Wymack or Neil would give angry corrections and threats to get him back in line. 

It rarely worked. 

But they finished practice with no injuries and a high mood, Friday looming in the distance often reason enough for celebration amongst the Foxes since it meant that they did not have to control their alcohol intake as much as they would a school night. 

Robin had spent most of her fridays studying though, but that was about to change tomorrow night. A bit of anxiety sparked in her stomach and she pushed it away. It was too late to back down, and even if she wanted to she couldn’t. If this was her way into Andrew’s circle, close enough to get him to teach her how he was goalie, then that was a price worth paying. 

Like the day before, she drove back to the tower on the backseat of the maserati, this time in more comfortable small talk. Neil and Nicky were discussing something EXY related, and while she didn’t bud in with anything, she enjoyed the silence being filled. 

Andrew was driving again, eyes on the road, going only a little too fast as they made their way back to the dorms. Not that Robin was about to complain, she knew Andrew knew what he was doing. He didn’t engage in the conversation between Nicky and Neil, but sometimes Aaron looked up from his phone to disagree with Neil on something, this sparked a further discussion about positions and checks that Robin tuned out in favor of looking out the window. 

When they arrived, she followed the others inside, walking beside Nicky as the older man explained how Friday was gonna go. 

“So we finish practice, since the season hasn’t started yet we do it after practice, we go back to Fox tower, get ready, meet out here at eight, so get some food, then to Eden’s, it’s quite simple! And don’t worry I'll keep an eyes out for you” he assured her, smile as bright as ever. 

Aaron huffed in front of them, and Nicky shot him a waning look that the other twin seemed to selectively ignore. 

“Don’t talk to her like Andrew isn’t gonna fucking do something” he said, Nicky bristled but didn’t argue “Listen I don’t know you Cross, but you gotta be majorly fucked up to ever gain the attention of my brother. Keep your head down and try not to be alone with him, you never fucking know he’s a phsyco” Aaron conteniued, then walked past the two of them full attention back at his phone. 

“Aww, they’ve grown so much” Nicky cooed, and Robin couldn’t tell if it was mockery or he was sincere. There was nothing sweet in the way Aaron had just talked about Andrew, actually it had made Robin cold all over. 

What did he mean to not be alone with Andrew? He had already tried to kill her two days ago, would he try again? What would the point be in that? What could he possibly do that was worse than murder? 

There was a lot that was worse than muderder, but somehow none of those criminal profiles fit on Andrew. 

Nicky must have seen her thoughts begin to barrel and mistaken them for confusion, because he interrupted them explanatory. 

“Two years ago you wouldn’t have caught Aaron dead calling Andrew “his brother”, so that was quite sweet” they continued up the stairs, but he didn’t stop talking “don’t worry too much about Andrew, unless you give him a good reason, he's mostly peaceful… in his own way? He just needs to figure you out first” he tried to assure her, and she became more and more happy that both Neil and Andrew were out of earshot. 

Andrew would have turned Nicky inside out if he had heard any of that, and she desperately nodded in an attempt to shut Nicky up just in case it turned out that Andrew was omnipotent and about to rain hellfire down on them. 

“Don’t look so frightened, just roll with the punches and you’ll be fine” he patted her on her back and she almost fell over as he entered his dorm and left her in the hallway.

What the hell had she gotten herself into? 

-

The closer they came to Friday, the more her anxiety grew. Aaron’s warning of Andrew had only made it worse, and the fact that Andrew had not talked to her since that night on the roof solidified her fear. 

Did he still hate her? She had thought no, since he had not looked at her in that burning, nauseating way that he used to, he had also let her play on court more, and the disdain she thought she saw in him had evaporated. 

But she couldn’t read him at all, he was like a closed book with a lock on, plain and blank cover the only thing visible. 

He could easily hurt her, really, really bad. He was stronger than her, faster than her, he could murder her of he wanted. He almost had. 

But as she had said to herself the day before, there really was no turning back from this, she had to go if she wanted the chance to play exy whith them as equals. There was nothing she wanted more than to play EXY and not be a reliability like she’d always been. Andrew and his crew could help with that, all she had to do was go to some weird club in Columbia, survive there for a night and then maybe she had her entrance. 

When Friday finally arrived, she was so nervous that for a second her brain began racing for good enough excuses to not go. She could say that she was sick, or that she had to go home for a family emergency? That she had too much homework maybe? Or a test? 

She could definitely trick Nicky with one of those, and Aaron probably didn’t care enough to call her bluff. However, lying to Andrew and Neil sounded way harder and also like one of the scariest things she had ever done, so that option was out the window. 

The more she thought of possible ways to get out of it, it began sounding more and more like giving up, and that didn’t sit right with her either. She didn’t want to give up, she’d done nothing but give up for so many years, for once she would like to win. 

And that was how she found herself in her dorm that very night, getting dressed for clubbing with strangers in Columbia. If she had told her parents they would have flipped their shit, possibly even forbidden her, that's why she hadn’t told them. 

Which was probably stupid, the longer she thought about it, no-one knew she was going with them, it wasn’t like she had any friends to tell anyways. She bit her lip and rummaged through her closet to find something acceptable.

She didn’t know what people normally wore when they went clubbing, but after a couple google searches she quickly found out it was in clothes that she didn’t own any of. 

Most of the clothes she owned were either sports clothes or sweatpants and t-shirts.

The one set of fine clothes were her normal church clothes, and the idea she would wear those to some club just didn’t sit right with her. Instead she took a deep breath, made sure she was alone one last time, and then she went through one of Sheena’s drawers, eventually finding something that could go.

She ended up with a long sleeved black shirt shirt of her own and a green skirt of Sheena’s that almost went to her knees in an attempt to still look somewhat modest. Around her neck was her small golden cross and she had put in a set of earrings that Mrs. Fritzz had given her when she turned 13 and looked like small cats with gemstone eyes. 

She didn’t have any make-up, and she didn’t know how to apply it even if she did. She let her hair loose, black waves falling to her shoulders, and brushed her too long bangs in place before taking on her normal jacket and her pair of worn out sneakers. 

Looking at herself in the mirror, she wasn’t satisfied but it must be good enough, it was the best she could do with what she had. 

Nicky and Aaron were in the parking lot, both of them leaned against the Maserati as they waited for Andrew and Neil, who were both still absent when she came down. 

“Not bad” Nicky gave her a once over and shrugged noncommittally “You should have seen what Neil came here with, Andrew spent so much money on his wardrobe the first few months he was hanging around us, it was almost sad” he laughed to himself, then noticed the raised eyebrow Aaron gave him. 

“Okay it was sad, it was really sad” Nicky admitted, and Robin felt herself smile slightly. At least Nicky would be there, there had to be some sort of safety in that “But look at him now, almost presentable- Neil is that a v neck?” and so the attention was off of her and back on the two walking mysteries. 

Neil and Andrew came out of the doors, both dressed in blacks and greys, they should easily fade away in a dark room or amongst a crowd, maybe that was the point of their outfits. 

However, Nicky was not about to let the v neck thing go that quickly, and both him that ended with Andrew brushing a hand over his left armband before getting in the car, effectively shutting Nicky up as they all piled into the car and began the drive. 

Aaron had for once put down his phone, and quickly interrupted the tense silence by engaging in a rather competitive talk of a videogame with Nicky, who gladly took the bait of an alternative topic. 

Surprisingly after not too long, Neil too joined in on their talk, even if it was just to make it clear just how unrealistic GTA really was and Robin spotted Andrew roll his eyes in the rearview mirror. 

It was the first time she had spent time with any of the foxes outside of court, and so there was something strange about seeing them this… mundane? 

She holed herself up in her room when she isn't studying or practicing, rarely leaving campus and too afraid to actually engage with any of the other foxes. Now, she was part of a social constellation that most of the foxes didn’t get to see ever. It felt almost like she was intruding on something secret. 

The way Neil sent glances towards Andrew, that the blonde pointedly ignored but made Neil’s face transform completely. Nicky’s easy banter with Aaron about something as human as videogames, Neil and Aaron butting heads over the legitimacy of GTA and Breaking Bad… it made her realize that she saw them as human for the first time. 

This wasn’t an EXY team, this was family, and she wanted nothing more than for the carseat to swallow her up whole. It felt like she was fifth wheeling a wolfpack that could rip her to shreds within seconds, which somehow made her feel worse than ever. 

This was gonna be a long night. 

-

Sweetie’s was a nice diner, and when they entered the establishment made her breathe a little easier. She had never felt calmer in a crowded room as she did right there, suddenly not feeling like an intruder like in the car. 

They had obviously been here a lot before, Nicky greeting multiple workers as they casually walked to a booth in the back that was marked with a Reserved sign that Andrew picket up and tossed to the floor uncaringly. Nicky picked it up and handed it to a waiter who just smiled at him. 

Turned out that “getting food” meant eating absurd amounts of ice cream, not that she would complain. It was good ice cream, soft and pleasantly sweet in her mouth and she felt another amount of her stress subside. 

It had been ages since she had ice cream, long before she moved to Palmetto, and something loosened inside her at the taste that she didn’t realize that she had missed. 

Neil seemed less than satisfied with the menu, and settled instead for the dangerous business of stealing spoonfuls from Andrew with the teaspoon that had come with his coffee. 

“Kevin would have an episode if he was here” he simply stated, sipping on his black coffee instead “I could call him, make tonight more interesting” it sounded more like a playful jab than a threat but it made Nicky groan. 

“No for the love of god, do not. I miss drinking with the man, but him and his diet is never something I wanna deal with again” Aaron snorted and took another spoonful of ice cream. Neil smiled faintly, then sneaked his spoon to Andrews half eaten glass to steal another tip of the sweet treat. 

Much to Robin’s surprise Andrew only turned to glare at him, but zero fingers were cut off and Neil just smirked back at the blonde who scowled deepened.

Robin was sure that if Nicky attempted the same stunt, he would lose a finger or his life, and once again she was left questioning the nature of Andrew and Neil’s relationship. Were they dating? That didn’t seem to fit though, dating seemed like a way too trivial thing to label the two with. But then what the hell was it? 

Neil had said that Andrew hated him, but that didn’t fit either. 

Robin stalled her investigation when a waitress arrived and left what looked like several packets of yellow powder on the small table. Andrew took a couple and stuffed them in his pocket, throwing a couple to Aaron who caught them, Nicky snatched the rest, offering one to Robin who shook her head violently. 

Were they taking drugs? Was that what this was about? Suddenly the icy feeling was back, and he felt her hands tighten around the fabric of her skirt. She had never done drugs, nor met anyone who did drugs or had done drugs, now she was stuck over half a state away from safety with four of them. 

Well to be fair, none of them had actually taken them, the packets had quickly been packet away in pockets and creases in the clothes, within a minute it had been like it didn’t exist. 

“Don’t look like that, it doesn’t hurt to have fun” Nicky smiled down at her patting the pocket he had deposited the yellow power in. Robin didn’t say anything, but before Nicky could interpret her silence, Andrew had finished his ice cream and stood up. Neil quickly finished off his coffee as well and hurried after him, while Nicky and Aaron seemed to take it a bit slower to finish up and leave, Robin trailing behind them. 

Did they expect her to do drugs? Nicky had offered her but hadn't pushed when she declined. As long as she didn’t have to take any, she was good, but she prefered if drugs were not involved at all. 

Neil hadn’t taken any of the packets, so maybe she could hope for him to stay sober as well, at least have one ally in the madness she had gotten herself tangled in. 

-

Eden’s Twilight wasn’t far away from the restaurant, and they reached the club within 5 minutes that were filled with too loud music to talk. Robin didn’t mind, she was still crawling with anxiety that seeing the drugs had invoked, so not talking was a very appreciated way of spending the rest of the car ride. 

Andrew took the lead like usual, Neil beside him, and walked straight past the seemingly endless line that stretched all the way around the house, nodding at the bouncers. 

Nicky got a bit more of a reaction, fistbumping one of the big men and winking at another as he entered through the door, lazy posture so full of ease it made Robin wonder if he ever felt the least bit of tense outiside of EXY. 

Aaron hid in the big presence of Nicky, and Robin tried to do the same. It didn’t stop the bouncers from sending her a single raised eyebrow that Nicky waved off with a simple “Andrew” which seemed satifactionary. 

Robin quickly found out why she had never been clubbing. It was awful, crowded and loud. Sweaty bodies and music booming from the speakers placed above the dancefloor. Bright music flashed in all sorts of neon colors, obscuring her vision and she almost lost sight of the people in front of her. 

Luckily, Nicky noticed and grabbed her arm, making sure she didn’t get lost in the crowd. She felt panic bubbling in her stomach and breathing was getting hard, fuck, this was not the place to get a goddamn panic attack. 

She forced herself through a simple breathing exercise, which was made remarkably easier when they finally broke free from the crowd, and entered a sitting area a bit more silent than before. 

Again, Andrew and Neil led the way to a table in the back where the music wasn’t as loud and the swarm of people weren’t as dense. She appreciated it, even if it was not for her sake. 

However, instead of sitting down, Andrew steered away, motioning for Aaron to join him, and headed for the other side of the room instead. Robin couldn’t see what was happening in the direction, but it didn’t seem like they were in a rush, so she let them do their thing. 

Instead she sat down beside Nicky opposite of Neil and began fiddling with a loose thread in her sleeve.

“Where did they go?” she asked Nicky, who was fishing around in his pocket for something. Eventually he brought out the yellow dust, and opened the package as he answered her question. 

“Drinks and to let Roland know we’re here” Nicky said and emptied the powder into his mouth. 

“Roland?” she questioned and Nicky laughed as he lounged back in his seat. She knew they apparently were very familiar with the staff, but the idea of Andrew taking the lead in any social situation was rather absurd. 

“We used to work here, when we had just moved to Columbia, Andrew and Roland hit it off” Nicky winked before he further explained “Now he’s the only one allowed to serve us drinks, it’s a nice push and pull” Robin looked at Neil, who sent Nicky and warning look, that the older didn’t seem to notice. 

Robin got the feeling Nicky had overshared a bit, but didn’t see what about it would be damaging. So Andrew and this mysterious Roland were friends, what about it? Yes the word ‘Friend’ combined with ‘Andrew’ was a bit obscure, but she was learning a lot today, and it definitely didn’t take priority over the drugs. 

The twins returned shortly after, two trays filled with drinks between them that they sat down on the table. 

Nicky made an excited noise, then dug in with Aaron flush behind him. It was as if they couldn’t get drunk fast enough, and soon they disappeared off in the direction of the dance floor to the left of them. Robin starred after them, noting this new discovery. 

Aaron danced apparently. Huh. 

Andrew took a singular shot, then threw something at Neil and left again with a single look at Neil who made a dismissive gesture. Leaving Robin alone with the team's star striker and a tray filled with drinks. 

Neil took a acountance of the drinks on the table, then opted for the soda that Andrew had thrown at him. 

“Don’t drink?” he asked, and Robin stiffend. What was he gonna say if she said no? Would he try to pressure her? Neil didn’t seem like the type, but she didn’t know anything about him. He was also just drinking soda, maybe he didn’t drink either, he probably wouldn’t judge her. “It’s fine, I don’t either most of the time” he assured her and she relaxed a bit. 

“N-no, I haven’t tried it” she just stuttered, looking up at him “I’ve actually never done anything like this before…” she confessed, feeling her cheeks heating up with color. 

“Yeah I can tell” Neil marked at her, then took another drink of soda “I hadn’t either when Andrew took me here, it’s a little much the first time” that surprised Robin a bit. 

Then again, going clubbing while on the run from the Mafia was probably not a priority. 

“O-oh” she settled for, averting her gaze again “It’s a little overwhelming” she admitted nervously. 

“This place is friendly enough, Roland doesn’t let any shit happen, and even if it should happen against all odds, Andrew is here” oddly enough, that statement enough to calm Robin a little bit, and Neil was right. Even if Andrew couldn’t care less about her, he cared about Neil and his other foxes, he would protect them if something bad happened. She could leach off that protection if needed. 

“Did you always play goalie?” Neil asked, catching Robin off guard. This question launched them into an EXY discussion that ligthned the mood signifigantly. She found that she enjoyed talking to Neil, even if his sentences were short and to the point, nothing like Nicky’s overly friendly nature or Andrew’s silence. It was comfortable. 

Andrew returned again ten minutes later, a soda in hand that he placed down in front of Robin. She looked at it in surprise then turned back to Neil who didn’t seem to have eyes for anything but Andrew at the moment. 

For a couple seconds they just looked at each other in silence, then Neil got up “Is Roland busy? I have something I need to ask him” he said, and didn’t wait for Andrew to answer. 

Neil’s red hair disappeared in the crowd, leaving Robin with Andrew all alone. He sat down in Neil’s old seat, staring at her as he threw back another shot. 

He didn’t look drunk in the slightest. Nothing on his face had changed at all from the bored stare, and Robin felt a comfort in that. Andrew felt like an immovable force, a solid and indestructive wall between her and the rest of the world. Where her parents were soft and caring, he was protective and honest. 

Her desperation to get on his side rose the more time she spent with him. She had caught a glimt of what a seat in Andrew’s car meant, she wanted that more than anything. 

“How did she look?” Robin was startled out of her mind by Andrew’s voice. The question was simple and clear, both of them knew what he meant. Robin couldn’t hear anything over the beating of her heart in her ears. 

“What?” she breathed, trying to hide the shake in her voice as she feigned innocence. 

“Amber Duchess, 5 years old, your replacement” he didn’t need to specify, and somehow hearing her name made it even worse “How. Did. She. Look?” 

“I-I…” she couldn’t finish the sentence, her throat clogging up and tears springing to her eyes. 

“You must have seen her, when you caught her” Andrew kept going, pressure built on her chest “So what did she look like?” Andrew looked at her blankly, and she couldn’t figure out what the fuck he wanted. 

She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t think, why was he doing this? Was this another test? What did he want from her? Fuck she couldn’t breathe. Andrew looked like he was running out of patience with her silence, about to send another jab, but something in her snapped in half. She couldn’t take another question. 

“She had blonde pigtails!” she exclaimed, a little too loud, but no-one around them seemed to notice “a-and red overalls… her eyes were blue” she gasped. 

Andrew didn’t acknowledge her words, not even a nod or a twitch of his eyes, but it was like for the first time in her life the floodgates were open. 

“He found her in the news because of a little league EXY tournament in town, she caught his eye, I was… I was too old” she didn’t notice when she started crying, but tears were dripping down onto her hands “He strangled her, he said she wouldn’t stop crying he… that’s what he said in court I- It was my fault” her voice broke, their eyes were locked across the table, and if anyone noticed the strange interaction they didn’t say anything. “Emma Bright was the third girl, she got away… like me” her therapist had brought up trying to contact her once, and Robin had almost done it. 

But in the end she couldn’t, what if she blamed her? Her capture was on Robin, all the bad that happened to her was because of Robin’s cowerdance, she couldn’t face that ever. 

“Yes” Andrew just said, making her flinch “It was your fault, she might not have been captured if you hadn’t helped him” 

Robin stared in shock, no-one had ever said that to her. Everyone had spent hours upon hours telling her that it wasn’t her fault, that she wasn’t to blame. That he would have found a way no matter what, that she didn’t change anything. 

It would hurt, having someone say this to her, having Andrew say things to her, but somehow it stirred something warm inside her. 

They sat in silence for what felt like eons, eyes locked, air stilled between them. For a second she was reminded of that night on the roof, the sacred silence that had bloomed between them had felt like this. 

The silence Andrew commanded drowned out the music and voices, it stilled the life in the club, brought all attention to the thoughts she had tried to drown out in the chaos of the world. 

She had spent so long pushing them away, forcing herself to believe what others told her, even when she knew it wasn’t true. She just listened because it was what hurt the least, what made her able to sleep at night in her bed knowing Amber had likely taken her last breath in that tiny room under the floorboards in Stevens house. 

She wanted to vomit, wanted to scream and cry and laugh. Because finally someone understood what she had done, that she was as much of a victim as a villain in this story. She hadn’t planned the capture, but she had enabled him, that was enough to blame her. 

Andrew was once again the first to break their holy silence, looking away from her to find two cigarettes in his inner pocket. He passed one to her, then he stood up and left the club.

She followed him out, quickly catching a glimt of Neil’s red hair at the bar, chatting idly with a bartender. 

The world moved around them, but somehow she felt like the center of the universe was walking two steps in front of her. The freedom Andrew presented her with was all consuming, and she wanted to taste more of it so desperately it hurt. 

They stopped outside a backdoor, Andrew leaning against the wall in the small alleyway. Several trash cans were placed against the far wall, and somewhere a cat was rummaging around. 

Andrew sunk down against the wall and lit his cigarette before passing the lighter to her. She did the same and sat on the stairs beside him. 

The silence only lasted long enough for him to take a drag of his cigarette and blow out the smoke that rose lazily towards the clouded sky. 

“Six” his voice was emotionless, but his eyes had a sharp tint to them, like how they’d looked Wednesday at practice. Her confusion must have been clear on her face, because he elaborated without her having to ask. 

“I moved in with the Spears when I was 12” he took another drag “they had a son, with a military rank and a sweet tooth for small, blonde boys” again his eye twitched, and for the first time Robin recognized that twitch as an emotion, even if she couldn’t name it. 

She felt like someone had dumped a bucket of water over her head, the implications of Andrew’s words sending nausea rolling through her. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, the cigarette in her hand burning away without her ever putting it to her lips. 

She had known he was a foster child, had known he was violent enough to be put on antipsychotics, which had probably not served him any good in the system. But the idea that someone had... her brain couldn’t catch up with the information it was receiving, and before she could fully process it, Andrew continued. 

“There were six children in their home after me” he finished the cigarette and dragged the bud across the cement stair to make sure all the embers had died “Six where there should have been zero” 

And suddenly Robin understood what this was. This was Andrew extending an olive branch to her, this was him telling her “I understand, I know better than anyone” when he couldn’t say it with those words exactly.

He had granted her this moment of connection between them for her to take it or leave it. This was her ticket to what he had to offer her, and he was leaving it up to her to decide what to do with it. 

They sat on the stairs for a long time, until eventually Andrew stood up and brushed dust off his pants. She half expected him to leave her there like he had on the roof, instead when she looked up at him, she found a hand. 

He had extended a hand for her to get up, and though he didn’t say anything, she knew exactly what it meant. For once in her life, she didn’t let herself hesitate, didn’t let her thoughts talk her out of it, didn’t let her spark of determination die out. 

She took his hand, and he hoisted her up from the stone step, then he turned and walked back into the frey of the club, not waiting for her to join him. 

-

Neil didn’t know what Andrew’s plan with Robin had been, and hadn't snooped where he knew it wasn’t his place to stick his nose. It would only piss off Andrew, possibly enough to make him drop it out of spite. 

Andrew had not mentioned her at all actually, and when Kevin had called Neil to chew him out for not telling him that Andrew “Suddenly cared about the lineup” Neil had been just as confused.

However, the look Andrew sent him when he mentioned Robin that first time, had shown him just fine that this was one of Andrews boundaries and Neil was not ever gonna push. 

When the timid, shy and self isolating girl had showed up with her dad, he had been even more confused. Andrew didn’t stand up for her when Jack and Sheena went off on her, and Neil only stepped in if it got too rough. However he also recognized the way he looked at her, it was similar to how he had looked at Neil what felt like a hundred years ago. 

So he let it be, and only checked in on her when necessary. Even if that meant sending Jack and Sheena packing or looking out the window to make sure she wasn’t plastered to the ground beneath Fox Tower after Andrew had taken her to the roof. 

Andrew had been having a bad day when he brought up inviting her to Eden’s. It had been the day after their little roof chat, and Andrew hadn’t slept at all after he came down. Neil looking at him was enough to send shudders through his frame and eventually he’d had to leave the dorms completely, taking the maserati and not coming back until morning practice. 

He was silent for most of the day, but at some point during a class shift, he had looped his little finger in Neil’s belt hoop to gain his attention. Neil was there in a heartbeat, slowing his pace and giving Andrew his undivided attention. 

“Bring her to Eden’s” was all he said, then gave Neil the car keys and continued on with his silence for the rest of the day. 

As he watched them reenter the club from one of the backdoors, Andrew finally looked at him like normal again from across the room. He thought he understood a little better. 

He could breathe a little easier knowing some of the weight had lifted from Andrew’s shoulders, that they were back to normal again. Whatever had been on his mind had had to do with Robin, and now it had been solved which meant they were good again. 

They left not too long after that, after hounding in the two drunkest of their party and getting in the car, driving back to the house in columbia. Neil knew exactly what was waiting and he almost couldn’t stand the wait. Andrew hadn’t touched him for real since monday when he and Robin had talked on the roof, but if he knew one thing about Andrew it was his eyes. 

He was right, the second Robin had been shown her sleeping spot and the two others had been taken to their own bed, Andrew and him against the door to their room, hands on either side of him flat against the hardwood surface. His lips were a breath away and Neil shivered at the closeness. 

“Junkie” he whispered, and Neil was about to burst from the need to reach out and touch him. Just feel that he was there, and he wasn’t gonna disappear between his fingers like smoke. 

“Yes or no?” Neil’s voice was horase, trying not to sound too desperate in the dark room. He knew he failed when he saw the glint in the shorter’s hazel eyes. 

“Yes” Andrew leaned in, and Neil let the other kiss him till he didn’t think he could stand on his legs for much longer. 

“We’re good?” Neil asked in between kisses, Andrew looked at him with the closest thing to a smile he could produce. This was a slight pinch of his eyes, a tiny quirk of his lips, that most would have mistaken it for a grimace. 

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked this time, Neil felt the others hands ghost over his thigh, and barely managed a choked response through the haze of need he felt like he was drowning in. Andrew pulled him backwards by the belt hoop, eyes observing his face with sharp eyes. Searching for the sign to stop after every step. 

Neil didn’t want him to stop, he wanted this moment to last forever actually. 

“I’m right here” Andrew whispered as he pressed him down in a sitting position on the bed “Right here rabbit”. 

Neil smiled as another round of kisses trailed down his neck as Andrew moved down, pressing into the touch. 

This was perfect, he had never thought he could feel this happy in his entire life. 

Later when they lay in bed, Andrew’s back against the wall, eyes closed, face relaxed in sleep, Neil couldn’t help but feel the warmth blossom in his chest. 

This had to be how love felt, he thought, such a trivial thing in such a gruesome world. Stolen moments between bouts of misery, for Andrew he would pluck the start from the sky. 

For Andrew anything, if that meant taking care of his newest passion project with the face of an anxious puppy then so be it.


End file.
